How to fix a broken heart...

... With the softest of words.

We lay entwined, home found, snuggled under his arm.

"I can hear your heart, it's talking to me."
"What's it saying, is it good or bad."

I know he's asking me if it still sounds broken.

I answer him honestly.
"Not sure yet, haven't listened to it before, I can't tell."

Is there anything more lovely then to be gazed at when silent. That your pure being is adoringly interesting.

Why are we so afraid of change, it's the shell that kept us safe from the other that now seems to be peeling, breaking away. I feel neither confident or reassured even though I probably should be. How do you tell him that you are just as fragile as he. That when you said you wanted to wait was for the exact same reasons as his.

I made a mistake tonight, and paid for it momentarily. He was angry, he still is angry. After all this time. I made a joke, something he said to me in the line after lunch that seemed perfect.

"I've apologized so many times, why haven't you let it go. I've tried to be your friend."
"when, there was no belly dancing, there was no homemade meal"

It spilled out of him so easily, it passed between his ears and sweetly fell from his lips.

I asked him about the belly dancing and he said No. I felt foolish and impatient, when 'my' maybe he isn't my, but when the other called and his voice happy and laughing at my stupid story in the underground. I don't find it difficult to admit my stupidity I just wish I would move away from it, and him, and all my past and all the worrying, all the time. I just want to breath out continuously.