Ready to escape

My attention is restored when I hear the rain starting. I’ve forgotten how long i’ve been here, the bath water is still. I sink further in and fully submerge exhailing. There’s something about holding him at arms lengths that comforts me and then reminds me how close it’s all becoming. I’ve been too busy to worry about such trival things such as boys and it’s always a lovely surprised when my phone announces his thoughts, sweet thoughts with kisses. I come up for air and rest my head on the lip. I go over and over as always, phrases and words circle. My sisters words the strongest. ‘I can just tell, when you spoke he starred at your lips.’ He starred at my lips. Dyed red for him, colour on my lids. I had waited and waited, and was just about to give up, I saw him rushing in. What a fool, but more sadness then foolishness. I’m jaded and soured. I am already half out the door, ready to make an escape, to become the victim of another failure.