Relieving pressure.

I turned around the moment it started spitting, watching the rain begin to fill my windowpane. I found a song, that I listen to over and over AGAIN. A boy with his guitar telling me words I'’m finding a strange kind of comfort in. "Eyes are wider than before, so little has changed but your eyes are seeing much more."”
The rain outside becomes heavy and distracting. I feel nervous again, my hands clammy as I wonder about tonight if indeed there is a tonight. A picture of him temporarily sits on my desktop, a secret. Please don'’t tell a soul. I'm surrendering myself to him now, not that I fully understand what it is I'm surrendering to; to him or the consequences of the show or my heart. I shake my shoulders lose and try and work, but all I want to do is write to you. I look at all the pictures and words I've collected over the last few months I've dotted on the wall around my desk. Our feet are entwined, i'm in his arms. I feel so pretty sleeping next to you.'’ My eyes dance again and find '‘drunk and distroyed he kissed, because he knew he could and he knew I would let him and said the thing that i was waiting, wanting to hear.'