I didn't write that right...

I talk about boys as waves or storms. That they come crashing or cause havoc. There is one, that works like a mist. He is so silent and so attractively inoffensive what when he kissed me I thought my world was growing. Growing in lust. Which is why I can’t forgive myself for forgetting him and even letting him go time after time. For someone I neither understand and feel totally closed off to. It is totally selfish when I say I feel no displacement with him. I am nothing but myself in his company. No second guessing or harsh words to digest about my worries or self-loathing characteristics all the others felt so happy to laugh at me with. There is no sign of judgment, though I know there is, which is why I write about him instead of... And why he is just other one, on the ever growing list. Growing lists. Ever growing lists, of smiles and kisses, scares, weaknesses and disappointments.