Fucking petting...

I’m waiting for a time when wednesdays mean something else. but for now... can’t you see i’m trying. There is nothing but a glance that comes to us now. Inside I am viciously angry and weak over him and somehow getting lost there.
Yesterday silently we passed in the stairwell. I promised myself to look up only briefly. I can hardly bare his eyes talking that stops me from ever moving further away. So I look for a second, and see the saddest smile. I think maybe it was my reflection and I carry moving down. But i feel his hand in my hair and words of consulation through them. He touched me, he peted me. and I didnt turn around. I was so angry, I was so fucking angry, how dare he pet me, like a child, like a little girl. And with that vicous anger I told her and we laughed with our evil streak and he caught us in passing, i turned the other way, and still laughing at him she ruffled his hair. I ignored him later when he asked me what that was about.